Expectations

EXPECTATIONS

Do you expect too much of yourself and others?
Do people always disappoint you?
Do others expect too much of you?
Do you often disappoint yourself?
Do you believe that you disappoint others?
Do you believe that others are disappointed in you?
Does not having what you expect frustrate and disappoint you?

If you don’t expect anything then that’s what you’ll get, and if you expect too much you’ll be sorely disappointed.

When we are born we are taken care of by our parents or primary caregivers. We are fed, clothed, and comforted by people willing to look after us. Obviously, whilst we are helpless we can do nothing to help ourselves. Depending upon how well or how poorly we are cared for in this very early phase, our expectations of others grow or diminish. If we are given what we need, plus more than we want, our expectations become high. If are needs are barely met we learn to believe that we can never have or expect anything.

Look at the list of presents today’s children want Santa to bring them, to see how early in life our expectations begin to develop. Mostly it starts with wishful thinking and then the more we get, the more we want and our expectations grow with them. Whether we get what we want or not, dissatisfaction and disappointment is born.

Parents who expect too much of their children, who push them beyond their capabilities, are teaching children that expectations must be reached or exceeded, and if they don’t achieve, they will be a total disappointment. Never being able to please their parents these children come to believe come they are failures, or constantly trying to please their parents, they lose any pleasure or real interest in what they do achieve.

Children whose parents overindulge them by giving them anything they want whenever they want it, become spoiled, and with no sense of what is authentic expect far too much and are doomed to a life of discontentment and disillusionment when they realise that others cannot give them what they demand.
Children from homes where they get very little grow up expecting little for themselves or from others; growing up to believe that they will be disappointed. With little faith, hope or belief in themselves and others, their expectations rarely met except for the very basic necessities, these children grow up in the certain knowledge that they will find disappointment at every turn, and that wishing and hoping for anything is a futile exercise. Expecting a lifetime of disappointment can lead to depression and a life lived with nothing to look forward to.

Ridding ourselves of our negative beliefs frees us from disappointment, disillusionment, dissatisfaction and frustration. Our world becomes a kinder, calmer place to live in. Our wants become more realistic and our prospects and hopes become more achievable.

What a relief when we take the pressure off ourselves and others! When we learn to live within our means and our capabilities, and let others off the hook of our irrational expectations of them.