Do you measure up to others?

When we compare ourselves to others we invalidate who we are.

Depending upon the belief system operating in your family of origin you may have negative beliefs about yourself, others, other cultures, religions and societies.

A century ago we rarely had people to compare ourselves with, except perhaps the people in our local village or town. Perhaps an outsider would come in from the city, and we would all be aghast at the strange vehicle they had arrived in, or that they spoke so differently from us. Not until too long ago, most people were too busy working to survive to worry about whether they looked and smelt good or had the right shoes.

With the advent of television, cinema and fashion magazines we have thousands of so called ‘experts’ telling us that we are not OK as we are, and that we need to do something about it.  Quickly!   These so called experts are the advertising and marketing departments of large corporations telling us that we are nothing and nobody if we do not buy their products. The sad fact is that we believe them.

We now believe that if we do not look ‘right’ smell ‘right’, dress ‘right’, eat ‘right’, exercise ‘right’, etc,  then ‘there must be something wrong with us’ and obviously we must be outcasts and social pariahs. If, as women, we are not stick-thin like the 15-year-old ‘Super Model’ in the latest Dolly Magazine, then we are fat and obscene. If we are not dressed in the same clothes as the latest Diva, then we are OF and not cool. On a rational level we must ask ourselves what chances have we of ever being like them unless we starve ourselves or spend every cent we have (or borrow) on buying the latest gear?

These corporations are very aware of the psychology behind their marketing, that is, each of us feels a great need to belong and be a part of a group, to be popular and liked and feel that we are important. As teenagers we believe that if we dress, behave, eat, and drink the same as each other, then we will fit-in. If we are not popular, don't have the social status, or the money to fit in with the 'in-crowd' our opinion of ourselves diminishes and leaves us feeling inferior and inadequate.

Comparing ourselves to others leads to lack of self esteem, depression, eating disorders and self-abuse. This can result in jealousy, resentment and lead us to steal, punish or reject people we believe have more or are better than us.Comparing ourselves to others is a futile exercise because we are all so entirely different and unique and can never be the same as anyone else.

Removing negative beliefs about ourselves allows us to appreciate our uniqueness and difference, so that we learn to truly care and like ourselves and no longer need to compare ourselves to anybody.